Millionaire Bill O’Reilly is Just Like You and Me!

The algorithm never lies

The algorithm is never wrong. (via Maniac World)

I’m going to attempt to write this with the least possible amount of profanity, but it’s hard to talk about a fuckass like Bill O’Reilly without calling him a fuckass and, well, now I’ve already failed. 

Bill O’Reilly "wrote" a "column" last week on his website that is wrong at least once per sentence.  Now, that may sound like a lot of errors, but it’s actually par for the course when it comes to Bill O’Reilly saying or doing anything.  He knows what he’s good at, and he’s good at nothing.

The shitty premise of his shitty column is that everyone is poor and it’s taxes fault.  Sure!  That sounds wrong, but sure.  People say that kind of stuff all the time.  Let’s see how Bill O’Reilly chooses to be wrong about this.

"By Bill O’Reily for BillOReilly.com, a subsidiary of Bill O’Reilly, Inc.  Sponsored by The Bill O’Reilly Foundation for Bill O’Reilly."  In case you didn’t know what website you were on.  So, let’s find out if I’m poor!

The folks are getting hosed.

NOT THE FOLKS!  I THINK I MAY BE ONE OF THEM!  I AM GETTING HOSED!

According to the American Debt Advisor outfit, 80% of us now owe money to creditors. If you exclude mortgages and car payments, 50% of us are in debt.

This is where Bill O’Reilly starts using the word “us” in a way that is fairly inconsistent with the actual definition of the word.  Because when he says “80% of us,” he actually means “80% of people who are not rich like me.”  Bill O’Reilly is not in debt.  Bill O’Reilly is a millionaire-cum-sex offender who gets his rocks off by calling people names on his television show.

Some pundits place the blame on unemployment, currently just over 9%. But that’s not what is driving debt. Taxation is.

Aaaaaaaaand here we go.

The mean salary in America is just about $50,000. But if you live in Los Angles, Boston, San Francisco, or New York, earning $50k means you’re poor. The cost of living in most urban areas is now so high that a $250,000 salary is middle income. President Obama might not understand this, but we the people do.

Hahaha.  Bill O’Reilly thinks that $250,000 is middle income.  That’s incredible.  Think about far you have to be removed from the actual facts of reality to believe that.  Less than 3% of people  make that kind of money in the United States, and, as far as I can tell, that is not “the middle.”  Now, sure, he’s conveniently limiting himself to urban areas, where the cost of living is much higher, but that actually undermines his argument entirely.  If taxation is the whole problem, how could the cost of urban living also be the whole problem? 

Let’s take the situation in New York State. New Yorkers like me pay federal income tax, state income tax, New York City income tax, and property taxes if we own a home. In fact, per capita, property taxes in the Empire State are about $1,900 a year. Sales taxes, per capita, are another $1,700 per year.

Gasoline tax in New York: 45 cents a gallon. Cell phone tax and fees? 23% added to your monthly bill. There are also tolls, taxes on your driver’s license, cigarettes, and alcohol. The hits just keep on coming.

Now Bill O’Reilly is just whining.  The thing is, yes: these taxes do place a huge burden on the people who have no money to pay them.  Right now, that’s a vast majority of Americans.  BUT BILL O’REILLY IS NOT ONE OF THEM.  He keeps talking like taxes are ruining his life, but he is a multimillionaire whose job is so easy a dead parakeet could do it.

And, while we’re on the subject, Bill O’Reilly is not a “job creator.”  Whenever Republicans want to attack a tax increase on the wealthy, they talk about how rich people are job creators and taxing them will hurt the poor.  That’s because simply saying “I want more money” doesn’t test well with focus groups.  But so many rich people are just goddamn useless, like Bill O’Reilly.  

I hate this man.  He cloaks himself in folksy, down-home, “aw, shucks” bullshit that bears no resemblance to his lavish lifestyle.  If he really wanted to help the middle class, he’d support a return to a slightly (SLIGHTLY!) higher tax rate for millionaires like him.  I’m sorry:  For “folks” like him.

  1. agnotology posted this